You know the saying that if a story weren't the truth, people would never believe it if you wrote it? Well, that describes the Jacob Family to a T! Really, I'm sure other families have gone through faster and crazier times. I just don't know who they are and what kind of stories they are trying to peddle.
So I know everyone wants to know all about the twins, and how they are doing, and all that David Copperfield kind of stuff, but I don't feel like getting into it right now. This is MY blog, you know? Those little buggers are just going to have to wait before I tell you my story about this madman stuff that happened to me right after Christmas.
Do you know someone else who has the shingles besides that former Stinky Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw? Well, his name is William David Jacob. Me. I mean, who heard of a four-year-old getting the shingles? The. Shin. Galls. It's absolutely positively one hundred and twenty-three percent crazy. Just nuts, I tell ya.
It all started on a Monday when I woke up with a red spot on my eyelid. I had been progressively feeling more sluggish that weekend, but nothing really odd until I got that red, pimple-like thing on my eyelid. That Monday I stayed home because I was feeling really yucky and not eating very much, which, if you know me, is really odd. Well, Tuesday I didn't get any better, and by Wednesday I woke up crying. My eye hurt really bad. So mom took me to closest emergency hospital, who then told us we should go to my pediatrician, who then said I should just go to Children's Hospital (this seemed unnecessarily convoluted, but I digress).
At this point I was feeling very tired, and I was pretty much in constant pain. Daddy ended up taking me to Children's. He had to carry me from the car to the emergency. I know I am only four, but I am darn near 50 pounds, and a dead-weight 50 lbs is no easy task to lug around the hospital.
Anyway, I had to stay in the hospital from Wednesday all the way to Saturday. Three whole days. Straight. For the first 48 hours I barely ate anything. I may have had a bite or two of some mac 'n' cheese, but not much. I mean, from Monday to Thursday, if you counted everything I ate, it probably did not add up to even one of my usual meals. No exaggeration at all. I did not want a single thing to eat. I also slept all the time. It really, really, REALLY hurt to open my eyes, especially the one with spots on it. And when I say spots, those spots were now all over the left upper left side of my face.
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| Me with the Shingles at the Hospital |
The whole not eating thing and the sleeping all the time worried the doctors a lot, which is why I had to stay so long at the hospital. They were worried that the SHINGLES WOULD EAT MY BRAIN. Which is only slightly an exaggeration. But, for real, the shingles can mess with your brain parts and your eyes parts and your nervous system and all those necessary things for, like, living life and stuff.
So I had an IVY, pumping me with medicine and fluids so I wouldn't get dehydrated and stuff. I had to have an MRI, which meant that they took pictures of the inside of my head to see if they could see the shingles eating my eyes balls or my brain. Luckily, the shingles weren't that bad. That would be like 100% bad. It was only 99.9% bad for me, so I was doing okay.
So Mom spent the night with me on Wednesday, and Daddy took his turn on Thursday night. On Friday morning, the a Team of Superheroes (doctors) came in to check on my shingles. Despite them being all Superheroes and smart and stuff, I didn't feel like all talking to them all that much. But you know what is really Super Awesome about the hospital? Room service for Free! (Dad has this to say: Hahahahahaha. "Free") My tummy FINALLY started grumbling a little bit as soon as the doctors left. I asked Daddy to get me The Greatest Breakfast Ever Known to Mankind: Mac 'n' Cheese + Glazed Donut + Cake Donut.
Friday through Saturday my appetite slowly turned around and I started perking up more and more. So much so that I was able to go home! I am still not 100% because my one eye has been bugging me, and sometimes I have to wear shades in the morning because the light hurts my eyes, and also because I'm totally cool and stuff, but mostly because of the hurting thing. Still, I am improving and it doesn't hurt so much anymore!
I also just started taking Karate! I need to be able to kick Shingles in the Butt if it ever comes back again!
Okay, now that you heard all about me, I guess I will talk about what you "really" (whatever) came here for: the Twins.
Owen and Kara are both getting bigger and bigger (but not bigger than their Big Brother):
Owen is now 16 lbs and 3 oz, 26.5 inches long, while Kara is 18 lbs, 26.25 inches long. She's got him by almost two pounds! And she's shorter! C'mon, bro! You gotta start pounding more protein shakes, bro! Lift some weights, bro! Eat a Slim Jim for dessert like I did one time (you see why me not eating was kind of a big deal?).
But really, we needed Ms. Shellie because Owie Dohwe has some problems where he couldn't go to my daycare. He had to be on oxygen 24/7 from June to October. After he had a Sleep Study, we got to knock off a few hours of those 24. It's now more like 10/7 because he's on it just at nights. We were hoping to be off of it completely. Tonight, as I am writing this blog, Owie is going through another Sleep Study. Mom said that he cried at first when they had to put all this stuff on his face, but he calmed down after she put on some of his favorite Night Tunes. Cross your fingers and hope that he can be completely off the oxygen!
Other things that we found out about Owen: He has no joint connecting the left side of his jaw! Holy smokes! Can you believe that?! No wonder he always had problems with eating. The doctors took a special picture of Owie's head (a CT scan), and there was flat out NOTHING there between the left end of his jaw and his skull! Yikes! There is tissue and muscle and some gooey stuff I think, but nothing else. I mean, his jaw is kind of small in the first place, and now this. All of this is fixable. Owie may even have a surgery (on his jaw) as early as Daddy's Spring Break, in April, but the Sleep Study will determine that.
And yet another thing that my little brother has to deal is his ear. Do you remember that I told that he HAS NO HOLE IN HIS EAR. Geeze-Louise! What did you do to poor Mr. Owie, Ms. Kara, while you were in the womb with him? Did you Karate Kick him in the head a few times and stole all the Jaw Joints, Jaw Size, Fat Rolls, and Ear Holes! You need to learn to share, Missy!
Sorry for the rant there, folks. Anyway, Owen got a Hearing Aid! Hurray! The Blood Suckers Who Hate People, Puppies, Babies, Sunshine and All that Is Good in the World (the insurance company) finally decided that they can give an eight-month-old defenseless being the gift of hearing better. He can still hear pretty okay without the hearing device. They tested his hearing and he CAN hear. But it's as if you're putting a hand over your ear. Try hearing like that 24/7. Not that great. So he's had his Hearing Aid for about 48 hours, and he's smiling more and laughing more at things. He also has this Great Look of Concentration while you talk to him. Like he's really listening.
Owie doesn't make too many different sounds right now. He sounds like a higher-pitched Chewbacca from Star Wars. Wa-ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Dad thought he said a Ma, Ma sound today, but it was brief and he didn't repeat it. Oh well. We'll give the little bugger some time. He's only eight months!
And now for Ms. Kare Bear. Well, the other night I did say that I hate my sister, which was totally out of character of me, because I really do love Kare Bear, just like I love Owie. But really, Kare Bear at night, oh boy. You know, I was just trying to watch my new favorite show, the 7D (as in the seven dwarfs), and she is crying and crying and crying SO LOUD that I couldn't stand it. Oh well. I made up with Kara and we're cool.
One thing that I like do with Kare Bear is squish her cheeks together and make puke sounds. Mom and Dad tell me NOT to do it because of #1 Germs on my Hands and #2 It's Gross. Whatevs. I do it all the time because SHE makes Puke Sounds so much that we started calling her Puke Noise. She likes to stick her hands in her mouth, and sometimes she sticks them in too far and then BLEH! Sometimes Mom and Dad will be doing something, Kare Bear out of sight, and then they hear BLEH! There goes Puke Noise.
Aside from making the Puke Noise, Kara has started making other consonant sounds, like Da, Ba, and Hey Dada. Seriously, she likes to say Hey Dada. It's kind of cool. She's becoming more mobile. She can roll around the ground fairly well. If you put her on her back and you look away, sure enough, she is right on her tummy. Look away again, and she's out in the street. Ha ha. Just kidding. But that girl is starting to move! Owen is moving, too, but he doesn't roll as much on his own as Kara. He's more content to just chill where he is. If you put him on his tummy, he'll roll to his back, and then just chill and go, Ahhhhhhhh!
Kara also has a great Belly Laugh. She was beating Owie for a while in the Laughing Department, but Owie is catching up!
And one final note: the Babies were Baptized! Hallelujah!
Hope all is well with everyone!
Hopefully next time I write there will be good news with Owie and his Jaw and his Sleeping. And I hope that Kare Bear stops crying so much at night!
- WDJ
