Introducing Thing 1 and Thing 2

 Welp, things are going to get fairly interesting fairly fast at the Jacob house.  I am going to become a Big Big Brother Times Two come July.  That's right!  Mommy has Two Babies in her tummy!  Imagine that!  This is a-may-zing!  Because I love to read Dr. Seuss, Mommy has decided to give my future brothers or sisters or brother and sister the names Thing 1 and Thing 2.  Mommy asked what I would name them if they were a boy and a girl, and I said Manny and Ellie.  Apparently I think Mommy has two Wooly Mammoths inside of her (did you know that I am a huge Ice Age fan?  I haven't even seen the first one yet, but Ice Age 2 and 3 are great).

Ultimately, Mommy and Daddy will take two healthy babies of any sex, but I would like to spend some time analyzing the potential ramifications of the Twin Combo Possibilities:

Twin Combo Possibility #1: Girl Girl

Four Words: Armageddon of Pink Stuff.  Daddy doesn't know how he will handle two baby girls and all the crapola that goes with it.  And that's not even considering when they become teenagers.  I mean, girls.  They're always going to be really yucky, right?  (Dad says, Yes, mostly).

Twin Combo Possibility #2: Boy Girl

Ideally, this is what Mommy and Daddy prefer.  You know, a ying and yang kind of thing.  It would be nice to have a brother to play with, and a sister to make sure that the boys don't morph into neanderthals.  

Twin Combo Possibility #3:  Boy Boy

I don't think the world could handle two other boys with as much energy, charisma, and cuteness as yours truly.  In fact, I asked my friend, Superfan Bill Swerski, what would be the result of this equation:  William + (Baby Boy 1 + Baby Boy 2):

"The senseless waste of pitting these two mighty forces of nature against each other, like matter vs. anti-matter, will be a tragedy, not only for the parents involved...but for our planet. All nations must band together, to ensure that such a conflageration never takes place.  And Jay Cutler should be Da Bears Quarterback for the rest of all eternity plus infinity."

Don't know why he added that last part there, but I think Pappy told Mr. Swerski to say that.  

So yeah, life has been crazy the past few months.  Dad looked at my journal recently and he says, "William, you haven't written in your journal for over three months!  What have you been doing?"

Well, Dad, here's what I got:

An A-May-Zing New Bed

Since I've been (mostly) a good boy throughout the past 365ish days, Santa gave me an early Christmas present.  A New Big Boy Bed!  It is a-may-zing!  Just watch this video below.  It is the cutest darn thing ever.  I am a little biased, but I think you will agree:

Spelling My Name

I can spell my full big name now!  I had trouble with the second "I," but I've worked hard at it and I've got it.  Oh yeah, I've got it.

Sir William Jacob: Future CEO

If I am going to be good at anything in the future, I am going to be a good boss, because that's what I like to do.  All. The. Time.  I sometimes overstep my natural bossy boundaries.  Mommy and I have frequent conversations about who I am the boss of.  Sadly, the only two things that I am the boss of are Bella and Lola, my doggies.  Not Mommy.  Not Daddy.  Not Naps.  Not even my own mood swings.  Dang.  And even the dogs don't listen to me all that well.  It's a rough life, you know?

Here are some other snippets of my boss-e-ness:

-  Mommy going upstairs for bed time.  Me:  "Mommy, wait for us!  You don't go upstairs by yourself.  Some people need to get their pjs on and brush teeth and read stories."  Mommy: "Oh, are you one of those people."  Me: "Yes I am."

-  Dinner time:  "Daddy, you didn't give me very much steak."

- My new thing now if Daddy or Mommy say something to me about me being naughty:  "I don't like your attitude."

Cute Stuff

Really, the entire blog is about Cute Stuff.  I am ALL about being cute, you know?  (okay, except when I am being naughty, which RARELY happens).  To wit:

- Before nap time: "Mommy, you're my best friend.  Let's watch HGTV together and snuggle in bed."  Mommy was pretty impressed by that statement.

-  Mommy talked about Aunt Jo's dogs and called them Joe and Bowie, instead of Joey and Beau.  Here is my respond:  "Mommy, can you say it right?  It's Joey and Beau."

- Mommy and Me at the doctor's office:  The doctor checks me first, and then she looks at Mommy.  This is what I say: "Be brave, Mommy.  It won't hurt!"

- A 2 liter of coke falls out of Mommy's truck, and explodes all over the garage floor.  My reaction?  "Well, that went well."  I am even beginning to understand sarcasm.

Christmas Tree

Mommy and I were working on putting up our Christmas tree and the ornaments.  Daddy, however, did NOT help at all.  He was doing whatever he was doing (editor's note: He was putting together an unnecessarily complicated new gas grille).  I look over at Daddy being lazy and not helping with the ornaments.  I was thinking, That Bum.  Mommy and I are working our patooties off!  If he wants any hot chocolate like Mommy promised, he needs to put some ornaments on!

So I reminded him.  And reminded him:  "Daddy, you don't get any hot chocolate if you don't help with the ornaments!"  Finally, Daddy got off his lazy, cheeky butt and put on a whopping two ornaments.  I don't think he really should've gotten ANY hot chocolate, but Mommy is a nice lady and I guess if it's okay with Mommy, it's okay with me.

So yeah, it's going to be pretty exciting with the twins coming and me being my awesome self. I am a-may-zing-ly excited!

-WDJ