Christmas is Over! Whaaaaaaat?!

Who and What decided that Christmas can be over?  This is a crime against nature!  Against humanity!  Against little kids!  Against me in particular, William David Jacob!  How dare they take Christmas away! Call the police and give me back my Christmas!



Sorry...  I know, I was overreacting a bit there, folks.  I know it's been over two weeks since Christmas... BUT I STILL MISS CHRISTMAS!  You know, presents, cookies, candy, MORE presents, cool ninja stuff.  Sigh...



So, this is just slightly embarrassing, but I haven't written a blog since this summer.  It has been over half a year!  Half a year!  I really blame Daddy on this one here.  He is the Gate Keeper of the computer, and every time I wanted to write a blog post, he said that he's busy with "work" and his "livelihood."    He says that this is NOT (his emphasis) this thing called "pro-crass-tin-aaaa-shun," or something.  He calls it "trying to stay sane with my regular work."  Dad is just as bad as his big kids that he teaches.He just keeps making up excuses left and right.  He even tried to tell me that he couldn't look at a computer for fear of reading anything more about the Bengals (he needs to get over the Bengals and stop crying like a little girl.  Man up, boy!)...



Anyway, what in the heck has been going on in our lives?  A better question is, What the heck HASN'T gone on?  Looking back at the last journal entry, it was even before we had our summer Vay-Cay.  Wow.  I need to cover summer Vay-Cay all the way to Christmas?  You have GOT to be kidding me, Da-da.  Do I have to pull ALL the weight here?

Vay-Cay

For Vay-Cay, we got stay in the Big Green House in Michigan City, Indiana (not in Michigan, but, like, close).  We had fun.  We went swimming.  We played on the beach. We picked blueberries.  I mostly ate the blueberries.    We shot off A LOT of fireworks.  And it was the twins first Vay-Cay!  Daddy remembers spending half the time telling the babies to stop eating stuff off the floor, and the other half creating barriers with pillows and couches so that the babies could not break free and get lost in our house, which was the color green and HUGE.


We actually had two houses in our house (there were 19 people on our Vay-Cay... and now 21(!) next year).  I mean, it was really like one big mansion, but in the middle of the house was, like, the OUTSIDE with a grill, and then you'd keep walking, and there was MORE HOUSE, with, like, a whole 'nother kitchen and stuff.  I mean, we had two kitchens.  Two!  A boy like me can never have enough kitchens.  And... um, yeah... it's been six months, and now we're planning our NEXT Vay-Cay already, so give me a break here.  Your memory starts to go when you turn five, okay?  I did tell Mommy and Daddy that I would like to go back and live in the Green House again. I loved that place.

Twin Stuff

Kara and Owen have been getting bigger and bigger and saying and doing lots of cool stuff.  They are walking like maniacs.  Seriously, drunken maniacs, just toddling back and forth, swaying side to side, moving forward and back.  It's dizzying!  Daddy will put one of the twins down, look one way, and that darn baby is GONE, baby, GONE.  We all love songs and we dance to stuff on Youtube and Pandora all the time.  Kara is starting to become a T-Swift fan.  Just the other day she started singing to "Shake it Off" ("uh-huh") and "Bad Blood" ("hey!").  

Both Owen and Kara are really good with doing actions with the nursery songs that is popular with kids of their age.  They love to shake their finger and say No No to tell the monkeys that they shouldn't be jumping on their beds.  They both do a pretty faithful rendition of where their head, shoulder, knees, and toes are.  Kara is a pretty big fan of singing the ABCs.  She doesn't quite have the letters right, but she's getting there.  

Kara, being the girl of the twin group, is the talker of the two. She says TONS of things.  So much so that I won't be able to do it justice here: ma-ma, da-da, bye-bye, nan-na (bananas), Shellie (or an approximation of our nanny's name), Oh-weeee! (for Owen), up, go, down, Lola, happy, night-night, apple, see? (she asks that A LOT), ba-ba (for bottle), HI, and HELLO.  And LOTS more.  

Owen, on the other hand... he's the strong, silent type.  He is working on his communication skills.  He does sign language pretty well (so does Kara... man, she's going to be one of THOSE sisters, I know it!).  He can make the sign for "more" and "all done" and "ba ba."  He says things like "ma-ma" and "bye-bye" and "da-da."  Our doctors said that he is doing fine, and that they are not worried, but we just need to encourage him more and keep helping him out.  It also doesn't help when you ask Owen a question, and SOMEBODY ELSE WHOSE NAME I WON'T MENTION (Kara) has to butt in and say the answer before poor Owie can even try (she is sooooo that type of sister).  

Kara and Shellie!

That little Kara, she is a firecracker.  She 's VERY demanding about wanting her Ba-Ba when she wants her Ba-Ba.  She looks you straight in the eye and if you don't get her Ba-Ba right then and there it's like you just threw a puppy out the window.  And then at dinner time you can give her a whole heap of food, and in about 0.3 seconds, it's "more" "more" "more."  I JUST PUT FOOD ON YOUR PLATE, GIRL, CHILL OUT.  She has all this food and yet she says "more" "more" "more."  LET ME EAT IN PEACE.  

As you can can tell, Kara is a good eater.  Owen, God love him, is not.  We want this child to eat.  We want this child to grow.  He IS doing all of this, but he likes to make his Mommy and Daddy sweat it out.  Like, Hey Mom, Do you see this piece of food all nice and cut up?  Like, I like this food, right?  Well, I will this chew for, like, five minutes, and then spit it out and throw it on the floor for the doggies to eat.  And then I stand up in my chair and be like, I'm all done.  Dad is like, BOY, DO YOU WANT YOUR TWIN SISTER BENCH PRESSING YOUR BODY WEIGHT?  I mean, Dad is all for Girl Power and all that Jazz, BUT YOUR SISTER IS WINNING IN THE WEIGHT DEPARTMENT.  Not good, man, not good.  

Hey, but little Owie IS doing well.  He is taking his sleep medicine twice a day, and he takes it like a champ.  He has been off of those stupid nose hoses for half a year now and he's doing much better.  We will do another sleep study with him in the summer.  

Kara, health-wise, did have another breathing, "It's not an asthma attack but it kind of is" hospitalization sometime in the fall (Daddy doesn't feel like looking it up, but it happened, or it was a dream, he doesn't know anymore).  I mean, it was just a carbon copy of every other "not really asthma" attack.  Trouble breathing.  Incessant crying.  Sleepless night.  Rush to the doctor.  Doctor tells us to go to the hospital.  At least three doctors said that Kara is FOR SURE staying in the hospital at night.  And then, this nurse comes in. Asks Daddy what kind of flavor Popsicle Kara likes. Daddy looks at her like she has three heads (Let me just ask my 16 month old daughter who is just developing one word sentences what kind of flavor she likes).  Um, orange.  Orange is what she got. She sucked down on that thing like it was a Ba-Ba times a billion and three.  Daddy kids you not, she perked up immediately after that.  Like, she went from "I am miserable and I am crying all the time" to "let's bug daddy and goof off with him."  I mean, she did just have something like four consecutive albueterol treatments and they didn't give her a fifth one because of something called "too much drugs for a baby."  And then she was fine and we had to wait two hours for them to say that she was REALLY FINE and then they got to go home.  And stuff.  

Me and My Cousin Gracie

After that episode, we've just been super diligent with our Seal-y (a nebulizer treatment for her medicine), and whenever she gets a hint of a cold, we go from one medicine to the trifecta (three different medicines all at once, twice a day, for 48 hours. Fun!).  So far (knock on lots of wood), so good.  

Well, I'm sure there's stuff that I'm missing.  But it's waaaaay past my bedtime. Daddy's giving me the stink eye.  He has to WORK tomorrow. Soooorrrr-REEE!   I love everyone!  Peace out!

-WDJ

Holy Moly! The Twins are One!

It is going to be difficult for the Jacob family to wrap our collective minds around this fact, but it's been 365 days since the twins were born!  Outside of Man Walking on the Moon, Jesus Being Born, and the Invention of Candy Bars, there are only a few things more amazing in the history of the world.

How did the Jacob family survive 12 months of the Twinado?  How did we combat all that Twinitude?

Frankly?  No idea.  Really.  None.  Zero. Zippo.  Nadda.  We still exist and the twins are still here. That's about all we know.

Missy Miss Kara

So what's been going on?  Well, as our luck would have it, we had ANOTHER trip to the hospital in May with Miss Kara.  That brings the Jacob Family to Five Hospital Visits in the Five Months of 2015. One more visit and we get...  a Hot Cup of Jack Squat!

What the heck happened?  Well, you could Xerox copy the last two times Kara has been in the hospital, put it in the binder, and say, Here you go: More coughing, more heavy breathing, Mommy taking Kara to the hospital and spending the night there.  The next day Daddy tag teams with Mom so she can go to work.  Thankfully, Kara got better and they released her by 10:00 p.m. that evening, which made it for a loooong day for everyone involved.  She probably had bronchiolitis again, or at least some kind of viral infection.  Whatever it was, we are now giving her more breathing treatments to help her out, and we are afraid that she may have asthma, but since she is so young, they can't test her until she is two years old.  So for now we just have to keep giving her the Breathing Treatments.

But she's doing better now and her Cough Cough is doing okay.

Other New Kara Developments:

- She is NOT crawling yet, but she is SuperClose.

- She can make the sound of a snake (SSSSSSS) and the panting of a Doggy. She also likes to make the roar of a Lion/Monster.  She thinks that's hilarious!  She also can says "Lola" in the exact same way that Mommy and Daddy say it when it's dinner time and Lola keeps trying to snarf the babies' food.  She also tries to say Larrrrrrrr-eeee, which is a cartoon parrot that she watches all the time on the Baby Channel (Vocabu-Larry).

- Songs and Kara:  Have you ever heard of "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond?  Well, we have a new song for Kara sung to that tune: Grooosss Kara Jacob!  Gross Gross Gross!  You have never been so gross!!!!  So gross!  So gross! So Gross!  Believe it or not, between the two twins, Kara is the grosser of the two.  At dinner time, whatever the babies are having, Kara is the one who gets it EVERYWHERE that she can possibly get it, including all over her hair and in her shirt (and her mouth as well).  One time Mommy cut her up some grapes and half of them ended up in her Onesie. It's not that Owen is Mr. Clean, either.  It's just she's THAT gross.

 Kara's favorite song is "All about the Bass" by Meghan Trainor.  It's on a commercial for a diaper company, and whenever it comes on she looks at you, smiles broadly, and starts grooving in her spot.  In fact, she loves lots of different songs, and she'll just groove her little ("little") butt on the ground when she hears a song that she knows.  It's cute!

Kara is now about 22 pounds!

Mr. Owie

No more Cannulas!  No more daily oxygen!  No more silly machines to be hooked up to at night!  Mr. Owie is off oxygen!  After Owen had his Surgery to fix his Skin Tags and Stuff, we took him off his oxygen at night because he had all of these Ow-wees on his face, and the Cannula was not going to help out.  Once his Ow-wees healed up, we tried it again and... Well, Owen did not take too kindly to the Cannula hat.  It got to a point where he was getting less sleep BECAUSE of the oxygen, which is the opposite of what is supposed to be happening. Thankfully, the doctors decided that, yeah, trying to convince a nearly one-year-old child to keep a Cannula on at night... well, that's just not going to work.

So now he just has to this medicine that tells his brain, Hey, Brain, you need to sleep more.  Man, those science guys can think of lots of crazy things.

Other Owen Developments:

- Owen is now a Champion Crawler!  Owen went from Not Crawling, to Crawling Backwards Really Slowly, to Holy Crap He's Crawling Fast in, like, 0 to 60, or something.  Whatever it was, it was fast, and He's Fast.  Like, put him down in one spot, look away, and HE'S GONE.  I mean, Where the heck did he just go, GONE.  If you see a baby scooting down the highway like a madman, please send him back to Stoney Ridge Drive. That's where we live.

Owen is also climbing up on things and standing up.  He is Mr. On the Go!

- Owen is finally saying more things!  He's saying, Ma ma ma ma ma, yeah, yeah, yeah, rah, rah, rah.

- He thinks Sharks that Squeak are pretty hilarious.  If you think about it, that is pretty crazy!

- Owen is now about 20 pounds!  He is now finally getting a little chubby!  Yay! We can fatten a baby up!  It only took us a full year, but we got it.

ME!  William Jacob!  

I had a Test in Karate and I passed it!  Now I have a Purple Belt!  Watch out!  Hi-yah!

This summer I will be taking a break for Day Care.  What am I going to do instead? Lots of things!  Including:

- Hanging out with Dad and learning how to ride my bike, tying my shoes, etc.

- Going to Zoo Camp for a Week!  I get to feed the animals and do lots of cool stuff!

-  Reading class for pre-schoolers!  It's going to be once a week for a couple months.

- Spending a week at Mimi and Papi's without Mom and Dad!

- Spending a few days with my cousin Ron in Columbus. We are going to this cool place called COSI in Columbus, which is a cool science museum with lots of things to do and discover.  It's going to be fun!

- Going on vacation with Mommy's family in Michigan City, Indiana for a whole week.  I've been asking every other week when we can go on vacation again because it's been FOREVER since we've gone.  I mean, my life has been pretty stressful with taking care of all these babies.  I mean, sure, Mom and Dad help out, but we all know who's REALLY in charge around here (mom).

Hope all is well for everyone!  Cross your fingers for no more hospital trips for anyone in the Jacob family (or anyone else)!

-WDJ

And It's Still Bonkers-Crazy Here

 

Have I ever told you that the life at the Casa de Jacob is just slightly crazy?  Ah heck, who am I kidding?  It's Full Blown Looney toons Cray-zee.  Our lives are so crazy we make an insane asylum look like Disney World.

So what's been going on you ask?  Well, let's start with

THE JACOBS PERMANENTLY MOVE INTO CINCINNATI'S CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL

Okay, this is only a slight exaggeration, but it's so close to the truth that it's sad.  But for real, all three Jacob children have spent at least one full night at Children's Hospital over the past 10 months.  Do you remember I had the shingles?  I mean, it's so outlandish that you think I made this up, right?  I wish I did.  It only happened three months ago, and I am pretty much all the way fully recovered, but then all of a sudden

KARE BEAR HAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL

So this is what, like, three weeks ago, and poor Kare Bear had the Worst Night Ever of "sleeping."  "Sleeping" is in quotes because sleeping was not to be had, by either Kara, Mommy, or Daddy.  Daddy and Mommy wish I were exaggerating.  Kara fussed fussed and fussed all night, coughed coughed coughed.  Finally, at about 7:00 a.m., Mommy listened to Kara's breathing and it was very heavy.  Like, this-is-not-good heavy breathing.  Mommy decided to take Kare Bear to the emergency room.  Long story short: Poor Kare Bear had this thing called Bronchiolitis.  It is as bad as it sounds.  She had to be monitored by all these machines for a super long time to make sure that she could breathe without all this junk blocking her airway.

But you know what's funny about this situation?  Not funny ha ha.  But funny wah wah?

KARA'S ROOM WAS LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO THE ROOM THAT I STAYED IN WHEN I HAD THE SHINGLES.

Did you think I was kidding ya when I said we should move into Children's Hospital?  I mean, I was in 510 and Kara was in 511.  Not. Even. Joking.

And yet Kare Bear's ordeal still was not finished.  So after Kara stayed at Children's overnight and they said that she could finally go back home, a week later guess what happens?

KARA GOES BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.

So it was another very rough night with Kare Bear, and her breathing was heavy again, so Mommy took her back to the emergency room.  This time around, she didn't have to stay overnight, but we had to give Kare Bare some medicine through this thing called an Inhaler.  But we had to give her the medicine stuff from the Inhaler through a big ole mask.  So Daddy had to 1) hold her down, 2) then put the mask on, 3) spray the Inhaler, and 4) then let her breathe six (!) times; AND then do that same thing again three more times IN A ROW.  This was done every four hours the first 24 or 48 hours or whatever it was (the days get pretty hazy at Casa de Jacob).

Finally, Kare Bear is pretty much All Better.  She's a trooper, though.

And now, we come to Owie.

OWEN HAS MINOR (KINDA SORTA) SURGERY

Before surgery

So Owie is my special little dude.  He's not as vocal as Ms. Talkative over there.  Kare Bear makes Consonant Sounds like Da-da and Hey Da-da.  Owie goes Ahhhhhhhhh (non-consonant sound).  Owen has to wear a hearing aid because he flat out has no hole in his left ear.  Owie also has to sleep with a cannula to help him breathe at night because he has sleep apnea (non-obstructive, central apnea).  And on top of all of this, Owie has four Skin Tags, a Dermoid above the left eye, and a Small Cleft Lip.  Those three things are what he had surgery for.  So Skin Tags are essentially additional balls of skin that protrude from your skin.  These things were on the side his face, and one of them was blocking his ear.  So they needed to go, because who wants extra flesh sticking out of your face?  Dermoids: a slight bump beneath the skin.  Owie's was about the size of his eye, right above the eye.  Cleft lip: he had a slight divot in his lip.

So the surgery took place exactly a week ago (4/9/15).  Mommy and Daddy take Owen to Casa de Jacob -- I mean, Children's Hospital -- at 9:00 a.m. for his 10:30 surgery.  As they are prepping Owie for his surgery, the Anesthesiologist examines Owen and says, "I think we may have to reconsider giving Owen surgery today."  WHAAAAAAAT?!   If you could feel Mommy's stare, you would feel a Mack Truck smacking you right in the face.  Long story short: the lady thought that Owen might be too sick for surgery, but Owen wasn't really sick, so it was all good.

After surgery

Anyway, once Mommy and Daddy got the Green Light for Owie's surgery, they STILL had to wait another hour+ before they took Owen into surgery.  And THEN they had to wait four more hours before the surgery was over. But Owie did a great job!  They fixed all the parts of his face.  However, poor little guy, he looked like he got into a bar fight once they were finished with him.  His lip got really swollen (almost comically so), and he had to wear these things called No-No's on his arms, which prevented him from touching his face and making the Ow-wees on his face any more Ow-wee-er, if you know what I mean.

But a week after the surgery, Owie is doing awesome!  His lip isn't swollen anymore, and the stitches will eventually just disappear or something magical like that.  Science is pretty cool, you know?

NON-HOSPITAL RELATED STUFF, THANK THE LORD

So there have been other happenings and going ons other than the ridiculously absurd amount of time that we've spent in the hospital over the past few months.  Let's focus on the positive things!

Kare Bear Stuff

She is getting big!  She is over 20 pounds now!  And that's after she lost her appetite because of that darn Inhaler and nearly hacking up a lung with Bronchiol-whatever.

She is getting to be more interactive!  She likes to imitate other people around her. When Owen gets excited and waves his arms, she waves her arms as well.  She likes to make a clicking sound with her tongue when you make that clicking sound.  And now when you say, "How big is Kara?  Soooooo big!" she raises her arms up in the air.  She can also say Roar! and Ba! Ba! like a sheep, but she is a little sheepish with her sounds.  Ms. Shellie can get her to do it all the time, but not so much with Mommy and Daddy.

Kara is also a champ at sitting!  She has a VERY solid base (it's all about the base, no trouble), so she doesn't tip over very often. And she loves to clap!

Owie Dough-We Stuff

Owie is also getting bigger!  Not quite as big as Kare Bear, but he is catching up and getting some more chub.  He is over 18 pounds now.  

We are a little disappointed that Owen hasn't been vocal after wearing the hearing aid, but he is smiling more now and more interactive.  He is Very Super Focused when he has the hearing aid on (and even when he doesn't), and sometimes he looks at you like you're crazy when you're talking to him.  Like, Daddy, what in the world are you talking about, you crazy man?  

Speaking about the hearing aid, sometimes that sucker just won't stay on his head.  He doesn't have to wear it all the time (he doesn't need it while he's sleeping or eating his Ba-Ba), but when he does, it sometimes ends up in his mouth, especially after he has worn it for a while.  And even Kare Bear is getting in on the act!  She is borderline obsessed with the hearing aid.  Whenever she sees it, she will automatically reach for it, and Daddy will tell her No No.  She stops and looks at Daddy very sweetly and innocently like, I would NEVER do ANYthing naughty.  And then the next thing we know, she has the hearing aid in her mouth!  Just snatches it right off Owie's head band!  That's only happened twice (on Daddy's watch, but it's not like he wasn't watching her. Kara is a Budding Ninja, okay?).  It's like Kara's hands are a magnet and the hearing aid is heavy metal.  

Owie also is clapping now!  He is so proud of himself when he does it, too. Good for him, little guy.  

Will-I-Am Stuff

As mentioned before, I am pretty much all good with the shingles stuff.  HOWEVER, I did develop a bad rash ALL OVER my body one day at daycare, and that worried the You-Know-What out of my parents.  So Mommy picked me up and took me to my pediatrician.  While we were waiting, a nurse mentioned that it looked like the Measles.  Mommy's Mack Truck Stare came back.  I saw her eye twitch.  I was a little afraid for a sec -- like her head might explode or something -- but the doc came in and he said it was NOT the Measles.  It was some allergic reaction to something that we have no idea what it was.  But I got SUPER rashy for like, three days, but I am all better now.  I wasn't even feeling bad.  Just rashy.

I am still doing karate and I kick butt!  I have three colored stripes on my belt!  

Daddy took me to Perfect North for some Tubing on, like, the last weekend of the year to go Tubing.  We had SO much fun. We went down a really big hill six times. I even mentioned it to Daddy yesterday and said we needed to go Tubing again sometime, but, alas, winter is so far away.  

AND THE COOLEST THING THAT WE JUST GOT...

A new Play-Set from Grandma Nancy!  It is so Super Awesome!  It has swings for me and the babies, a climbing wall, a climbing rope, a tree house, and a super fast slide!  Thanks, Grandma Nancy!  

And thank you, Papi, for helping the Workers out while they were building the Play-Set in the backyard.  He helped make sure the Play-Set is level.  It is really really cool!  

Well, I really, really, REALLY hope that life will start mellowing out for everyone at Casa de Jacob.  Daddy likes to remind everyone that for all the stuff that we deal with, it could be worse.  Not exactly the most comforting advice, Da-da, but I guess we have to take it.

Hope all is well with everyone!

WDJ

Fast and Crazy Times at the Jacob Household

Hey Folks.

You know the saying that if a story weren't the truth, people would never believe it if you wrote it?  Well, that describes the Jacob Family to a T!  Really, I'm sure other families have gone through faster and crazier times.  I just don't know who they are and what kind of stories they are trying to peddle.  

So I know everyone wants to know all about the twins, and how they are doing, and all that David Copperfield kind of stuff, but I don't feel like getting into it right now.  This is MY blog, you know?  Those little buggers are just going to have to wait before I tell you my story about this madman stuff that happened to me right after Christmas.  

Do you know someone else who has the shingles besides that former Stinky Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw?  Well, his name is William David Jacob.  Me.  I mean, who heard of a four-year-old getting the shingles? The. Shin. Galls.  It's absolutely positively one hundred and twenty-three percent crazy.  Just nuts, I tell ya.  

It all started on a Monday when I woke up with a red spot on my eyelid.  I had been progressively feeling more sluggish that weekend, but nothing really odd until I got that red, pimple-like thing on my eyelid. That Monday I stayed home because I was feeling really yucky and not eating very much, which, if you know me, is really odd.  Well, Tuesday I didn't get any better, and by Wednesday I woke up crying.  My eye hurt really bad.  So mom took me to closest emergency hospital, who then told us we should go to my pediatrician, who then said I should just go to Children's Hospital (this seemed unnecessarily convoluted, but I digress).  

At this point I was feeling very tired, and I was pretty much in constant pain.  Daddy ended up taking me to Children's.  He had to carry me from the car to the emergency.  I know I am only four, but I am darn near 50 pounds, and a dead-weight 50 lbs is no easy task to lug around the hospital.  

Anyway, I had to stay in the hospital from Wednesday all the way to Saturday.  Three whole days.  Straight.  For the first 48 hours I barely ate anything.  I may have had a bite or two of some mac 'n' cheese, but not much.  I mean, from Monday to Thursday, if you counted everything I ate, it probably did not add up to even one of my usual meals.  No exaggeration at all.  I did not want a single thing to eat.  I also slept all the time.  It really, really, REALLY hurt to open my eyes, especially the one with spots on it.  And when I say spots, those spots were now all over the left upper left side of my face.

Me with the Shingles at the Hospital

  

The whole not eating thing and the sleeping all the time worried the doctors a lot, which is why I had to stay so long at the hospital. They were worried that the SHINGLES WOULD EAT MY BRAIN.  Which is only slightly an exaggeration.  But, for real, the shingles can mess with your brain parts and your eyes parts and your nervous system and all those necessary things for, like, living life and stuff. 

So I had an IVY, pumping me with medicine and fluids so I wouldn't get dehydrated and stuff.  I had to have an MRI, which meant that they took pictures of the inside of my head to see if they could see the shingles eating my eyes balls or my brain.  Luckily, the shingles weren't that bad.  That would be like 100% bad.  It was only 99.9% bad for me, so I was doing okay.  

So Mom spent the night with me on Wednesday, and Daddy took his turn on Thursday night.  On Friday morning, the a Team of Superheroes (doctors) came in to check on my shingles.  Despite them being all Superheroes and smart and stuff, I didn't feel like all talking to them all that much.  But you know what is really Super Awesome about the hospital?  Room service for Free!  (Dad has this to say: Hahahahahaha. "Free")  My tummy FINALLY started grumbling a little bit as soon as the doctors left.  I asked Daddy to get me The Greatest Breakfast Ever Known to Mankind:  Mac 'n' Cheese + Glazed Donut + Cake Donut.

Friday through Saturday my appetite slowly turned around and I started perking up more and more. So much so that I was able to go home!  I am still not 100% because my one eye has been bugging me, and sometimes I have to wear shades in the morning because the light hurts my eyes, and also because I'm totally cool and stuff, but mostly because of the hurting thing.  Still, I am improving and it doesn't hurt so much anymore!  

I also just started taking Karate!  I need to be able to kick Shingles in the Butt if it ever comes back again!

Okay, now that you heard all about me, I guess I will talk about what you "really" (whatever) came here for: the Twins.  

Owen and Kara are both getting bigger and bigger (but not bigger than their Big Brother):

Owen is now 16 lbs and 3 oz, 26.5 inches long, while Kara is 18 lbs, 26.25 inches long.  She's got him by almost two pounds!  And she's shorter!  C'mon, bro!  You gotta start pounding more protein shakes, bro!  Lift some weights, bro!  Eat a Slim Jim for dessert like I did one time (you see why me not eating was kind of a big deal?).  

We have a very nice lady named Ms. Shellie who comes and takes care of Owen and Kara almost every day.  We need Ms. Shellie because I think Mommy and Daddy would have gone crazy by now without her.  Plus, she takes fantastic pictures of the babies.  Did you see the pic up above with the Christmas Twins?  That was all her.  People think we have a professional photographer.  Psh-yeah, right.  Like we have money growing on trees.

But really, we needed Ms. Shellie because Owie Dohwe has some problems where he couldn't go to my daycare.  He had to be on oxygen 24/7 from June to October.  After he had a Sleep Study, we got to knock off a few hours of those 24.  It's now more like 10/7 because he's on it just at nights.  We were hoping to be off of it completely.  Tonight, as I am writing this blog, Owie is going through another Sleep Study.  Mom said that he cried at first when they had to put all this stuff on his face, but he calmed down after she put on some of his favorite Night Tunes.  Cross your fingers and hope that he can be completely off the oxygen!  

Other things that we found out about Owen:  He has no joint connecting the left side of his jaw!  Holy smokes!  Can you believe that?!  No wonder he always had problems with eating.  The doctors took a special picture of Owie's head (a CT scan), and there was flat out NOTHING there between the left end of his jaw and his skull!  Yikes!  There is tissue and muscle and some gooey stuff I think, but nothing else.  I mean, his jaw is kind of small in the first place, and now this.  All of this is fixable.  Owie may even have a surgery (on his jaw) as early as Daddy's Spring Break, in April, but the Sleep Study will determine that.  

And yet another thing that my little brother has to deal is his ear.  Do you remember that I told that he HAS NO HOLE IN HIS EAR.  Geeze-Louise!  What did you do to poor Mr. Owie, Ms. Kara, while you were in the womb with him?  Did you Karate Kick him in the head a few times and stole all the Jaw Joints, Jaw Size, Fat Rolls, and Ear Holes!  You need to learn to share, Missy!  

Sorry for the rant there, folks.  Anyway, Owen got a Hearing Aid!  Hurray!  The Blood Suckers Who Hate People, Puppies, Babies, Sunshine and All that Is Good in the World (the insurance company) finally decided that they can give an eight-month-old defenseless being the gift of hearing better.  He can still hear pretty okay without the hearing device.  They tested his hearing and he CAN hear.  But it's as if you're putting a hand over your ear.  Try hearing like that 24/7.  Not that great.  So he's had his Hearing Aid for about 48 hours, and he's smiling more and laughing more at things.  He also has this Great Look of Concentration while you talk to him.  Like he's really listening.

Owie doesn't make too many different sounds right now.  He sounds like a higher-pitched Chewbacca from Star Wars.  Wa-ahhhhhhh!  Ahhhhhh!  Dad thought he said a Ma, Ma sound today, but it was brief and he didn't repeat it.  Oh well.  We'll give the little bugger some time.  He's only eight months!

  

And now for Ms. Kare Bear.  Well, the other night I did say that I hate my sister, which was totally out of character of me, because I really do love Kare Bear, just like I love Owie.  But really, Kare Bear at night, oh boy.  You know, I was just trying to watch my new favorite show, the 7D (as in the seven dwarfs), and she is crying and crying and crying SO LOUD that I couldn't stand it.  Oh well.  I made up with Kara and we're cool.

One thing that I like do with Kare Bear is squish her cheeks together and make puke sounds.  Mom and Dad tell me NOT to do it because of #1 Germs on my Hands and #2 It's Gross.  Whatevs.  I do it all the time because SHE makes Puke Sounds so much that we started calling her Puke Noise.  She likes to stick her hands in her mouth, and sometimes she sticks them in too far and then BLEH!  Sometimes Mom and Dad will be doing something, Kare Bear out of sight, and then they hear BLEH!  There goes Puke Noise.

Aside from making the Puke Noise, Kara has started making other consonant sounds, like Da, Ba, and Hey Dada.  Seriously, she likes to say Hey Dada.  It's kind of cool.  She's becoming more mobile.  She can roll around the ground fairly well.  If you put her on her back and you look away, sure enough, she is right on her tummy.  Look away again, and she's out in the street.  Ha ha. Just kidding. But that girl is starting to move!  Owen is moving, too, but he doesn't roll as much on his own as Kara.  He's more content to just chill where he is.  If you put him on his tummy, he'll roll to his back, and then just chill and go, Ahhhhhhhh!  

Kara also has a great Belly Laugh.  She was beating Owie for a while in the Laughing Department, but Owie is catching up!  

And one final note: the Babies were Baptized!  Hallelujah!  

Hope all is well with everyone!

Hopefully next time I write there will be good news with Owie and his Jaw and his Sleeping. And I hope that Kare Bear stops crying so much at night!

- WDJ

Q & A with William, Owen, and Kara

So, how's it going, Jacob Children?  

William, Owen, and Kara (WOK): We're good!

Are things less crazy than, say, four months ago?

WOK: Heck no! Murphy has his Law; we have the WOK Law: Things Must Only Get Crazier by the NanoSecond.  It's irrefutable and inevitable and indelible.  All at once!

Wow.

WOK: No kidding, right?

Right.  Okay, let's get through some stats here.  Height, weight, cuteness, etc.  

WDJ: 49 pounds.  3 feet, 6 inches.  I'm still cute, but I am a force of nature to be reckoned with.

ORJ: 11 pounds and 8 oz. 24.25 inches

Holy smokes!

ORJ: I  know, right?

Right.  You gained over seven pounds in four months.  You are right on target, little buddy!

ORJ: Thanks!

Owen, what does Mommy say that you remind her of?  

Benjamin Button, the guy who started out as an old man when he was a baby.  Weird, huh?

Yeah, really.  What about you, Ms. Kara?

KKJ: Um...

What?

KKJ: I haven't been measured or weighed in a month or so and...

And...

KKJ: You don't ask a lady (BUUUUUURRRRPPPP!  FARRRRRRRRT!) her weight!

Ms. Kara!  THAT is NOT lady like.

KKJ: Why must you write about my un-lady like tendencies, Mr. Daddy?

So I can embarrass you when you become a teenager and start dating... NOBODY EVER!  But seriously, you are stinkiest baby ever!  You insist on farting right into my gut while I feed you, ALL THE TIME.  Sometimes, we swear that you just made some Poo Brownies in your diaper. Oh no, you just stink, little girl, and all of your Non-existent Future Boyfriends will know this.  But anyway, can we guestimate your weight? 

KKJ:  NOOOOO!

Okay, well, since Ms. Kara is not going to cooperate, I am going to guess that she's WELL  over 12 pounds (hey!), but she's definitely shorter than her brother.  So there you go.  

KKJ:  Hmph

Sorry, Kara.  Anyway, I have some other questions for the Twinado.  Is there a Secret Pact between the two of you?

Owen/Kara (OK): Whaaaaat?

So there is a Secret Pact?

OK: Okay, you got us.

Spill the beans!

OK:  Well, we have to keep the parental units on their toes.  So when one of us cries, the other is probably looking very sweet and sleeping, And THEN, when that one stops crying, the other decides to turn the Crying up to Eleven.

I thought Ten was the highest you could go?  

OK:  When we really want to rock out with the Constant Crying, We Go To Eleven.

So you go to Eleven then... Okay, what are these animal sounds that I hear from you guys?

ORJ: When I start crying, I sound like a Baby Tiger revving up his engine... Rh-air, rh-air, rh-air.

KKJ:  I make Mouse Squeak noises, just at random times.  But when I cry, I don't make any animal noises.  I sound like an Ax Murderer just entered our house.

Is is really that bad sometimes?

KKJ:  Yes!  Okay, no.  But in my mind it is.

Mr. Owen, I have a question for you, why must you fight your bottle?  

ORJ: Well, dad, I'm just a little guy, okay?  I'm not like Ms. Chunkers over there (hey!). I'm sorry that sometimes I have to constantly Karate Kick you while I drink my bottle.  My tummy gets full pretty fast, okay?  My smallish jaw also does not help matters much, and I have this really snotty nose, so even with this Stupid Cannula + Oxygen Tank, I still have trouble breathing at times.  Plus, I can get gassy, or there is a Full Moon out, there is a Phantom out there, the Earth isn't rotating fast enough, etc., etc. Hey, but I AM gaining the appropriate amount of weight, and I AM doing better with my bottles, just not always as well as Ms. Tubs of Fun (hey!) over there.

Speaking of that Stupid Cannula (official, scientific name), what is the deal with that, yo?  

At Children's Hospital: 10-10-2014

ORJ:  Yo?  (Shaking My Head.  What a dork...)  Well, tonight I am spending a lovely evening with my Mommy at Children's Hospital!  They are testing me for my Sleep Apnea.  Mommy just sent Daddy a text saying that I am doing well so far without my oxygen.  So, Fingers Crossed!  This could be really exciting!  I told Daddy that it's okay to go ahead and write about it because I know he's busy and Goodness knows when he would have time to write out all of these questions for this blog.

 Okay, what is thing called The Witching Hour?

The Dreaded Double Fuss Face

OK: It is the time of evening, usually around 8:00 p.m., when We decide to modify our Secret Pact, and we cry together, and we cry hard.  We. Go. To. Eleven.  And we're annoying.

ORJ: Apparently Kara sees that Ax Murderer every time at 8:00 p.m.

KKJ: And Owen's lip just starts quivering like it's in an earthquake.

Is there anything that can be done?

OK: Nope, abandon hope ye who enter the Twinado.

Great.  Is parenting a Twinado every bit as tough as people say it is?

OK:  Yes, emphatically yes!  We may be cute, but we are a handful!  God only intended for mortals to take care of one child at a time.  Now you have us!  Ha ha!

Okay, what is this thing called a Milk Coma?

OK: Well, we just drank a whole bunch of Milk, we've got a whole bunch of Milk on our faces, and we're in a coma.  Milk Coma.  What's so hard to understand about that?

What are some sounds that Owen and Kara make?

OK:  Oooooo, ooooooooo, ooooo.  That's how we both talk!

 What about Mr. William?  How is he helping out with the Twinado?

OK:  Will likes to help out, and he likes to help out a lot.  He wants to turn on Owie's breathing machine every night (which hopefully will be shut down for good soon).  He helps out with putting our PJs on with buttons and zippers and such.  He helps put our binks back in when we spit them out. Really, the bink thing is just for Kara, because Owie is not a fan of binks... Well, he LIKES binks, but he just can't keep a bink in his mouth without Mommy or Daddy holding it in there for him.

Also, Will likes to come right up to our faces and make funny faces for our amusement (or bemusement).  He also likes to say, "The Babies are crying," when we are crying, which could be helpful it weren't so gosh darn obvious already.

What are some crazy/funny things that Will has done recently?

OK: Do you see this picture?:

 Goodness Gracious!

OK:  I know, right?  Mommy said that if Will wanted to help clean the dishes, he needed to make sure that he didn't get his clothes wet.  And, as you can tell, that picture was the result...

Oh man!

OK:  I know, our big brother is kind of weird and funny, but we like him!

Any other stuff to discuss about Mr. Will?

Well, Daddy and Mommy are still doing fun stuff with Will, and it's not ALL about the Twinado all the time.  Mommy took Will to see his first movie, How to Train Your Dragon 2. Daddy has also taken Will to the zoo a few times, and also to the Museum, where he is now starting to get interested in creating Plays with Puppets.  How fun!

 Wow, this has been a pretty amazing time, hasn't it, Jacob Children?  

WOK: Yep, it's getting pretty late now.  Owie is sleeping without oxygen tonight, William is sleeping at Grandma Nancy's, and Daddy has Kara Snug as a Bug in a Rug at home.  It's pretty late and Daddy's creative juices are spent.  Hopefully the next blog Daddy writes will be one where Owie won't have the Stupid Cannula, Kara won't be so sassy about her weight, and William will be less crazy.  We shall see!